R = take RESPONSIBILITY for what you say and feel without blaming others.

E = use EMPATHETIC listening.

S = be SENSITIVE to differences in communication styles.

P = PONDER what you hear and feel before you speak.

E = EXAMINE your own assumptions and perceptions.


T = TRUST ambiguity because we are not here to debate who is right or wrong.

Communication is one of the most important elements in building a more inclusive community. People of different backgrounds bring with them different communication styles. Sometimes these differences can cause conflicts among members of a community—often in an un- conscious way.

Guidelines for communication are like the traffic rules that one has to understand and ob- serve before getting a license to drive a car. We are required to pass a test proving that we know and will follow the rules in order to lessen the possibility of traffic accidents. With interpersonal communication, we do not require people to pass a test but we do need to remind people about how to interact respectfully. Conditioned by our society, we may react to others who are different with negative attitudes, put-downs, judgments and dismissal. If we are to express the essence of God’s inclusiveness, we need to agree to behave differently when we are attempting to build a more inclusive community. The Respectful Communication Guide- lines provide a foundation to uphold the well-being of the community.

These guidelines are affirmed using different formats in every session of every course. You are welcome to introduce a creative format that has not been suggested, but whichever format you use, the Respectful Communication Guidelines MUST be used.

Different communities use different versions of communication guidelines. The guidelines used most often by the Kaleidoscope Institute have been developed over the years through working with various groups. They are written in an acronym that helps group members re- member the guidelines. During the first meeting of the group, the meaning of each letter should be explored. In later meetings, the guidelines should at least be read and agreed upon, and sometimes, with briefer explanation.

GracEconomic consideration: Each time you use one of our tools such as Respectful Communication Guidelines for your ministry, and it enhances your community interaction, please consider making a donation to KI so we may continue to offer our resources to more and more people. Click here to make a donation.


The following are Respectful Communication Guidelines in Spanish, French, Chinese and Korean:

Pautas para la Comunicación con RESPETO

 R = Asuma la RESPONSABILIDAD de lo que dice y siente sin culpar a los demás.

E = Escuche con EMPATIA, desde la situación y punto de vista de la otra persona.

 S = Sea SENSIBLE a las diferencias de los estilos de comunicación.

 P = PIENSE bien lo que escucha y lo que siente antes de hablar.

 E = EXAMINE sus propias suposiciones y percepciones.

 T = TOLERE la ambigüedad, porque no estamos aquí para discutir quién tiene la

       razón y quién no la tiene.

 O = OIGA todo con cuidado y guárdelo confidencialmente.


R= assumez la RESPONSABILITÉ de ce que vous dites et de ce  que vous ressentez sans blâmer les autres

E= utilisez une écoute EMPATHIQUE

S= soyez SENSIBLE aux différentes formes d’expression et de partage

P= PONDÉREZ ce que vous entendez et ressentez avant de parler

E= faites l’EXAMEN de vos propres présupposés et perceptions


T= TOLÉREZ les ambiguïtés parce que vous n’êtes pas ici pour débattre qui a raison et qui a tort

서로 존중하는 대화를 위한 지침

R = 남 탓 하지 않고 자신이 말하고 느끼는 바에 책임지기

E = 감정이입 (경청) 하며 듣기

S = 상호 의사전달하는 방식에 차이가 있음을 염두해

P = 말하기전에 듣고 느낀 바를 곰곰히 생각하기

E = 자신의 추측과 생각을 검토하기

C = 성경공부내에서 이야기 나눈 것을 밖에서이야기 하지 않기

T = 우리가 여기에 옳고 그름을 가리기 위해 있는것이 아니므로 애매모호한 것은 믿고 넘어가기

Respectful Communication Guidelines


R= take Responsibility for what you say and feel without blaming others

      對自已的說話和感受負責任, 不歸咎他人

E= use Empathetic listening


S= be Sensitive to differences in communication styles


P= Ponder what you hear and feel before you speak


E= Examine your own assumptions and perceptions


C= keep Confidentiality


T= Trust ambiguity, because we are not here to debate who is right or wrong